(editor’s note: I wrote the original version on April 19, 2009.)
On April 18, 1989, twenty years and one day ago I became a member Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, the first black fraternity established at a historically black college (Howard), having pledged at one of the oldest chapters in the fraternity, Phi Chapter (the University of Michigan). At the first meeting the chapter held for interested individuals there were seventeen of us.
By the end of the process only four remained. Samuel Kirkland, myself, Darius McKinney, and Glenn Eden. I’d tutored Sam and Darius during their first semester in school (Summer 1988), and considered Darius a friend. The first time I’d met Glenn was at the first interest meeting. We were all middle/working class kids living in and around post-industrial cities (Detroit and Flint). A second year student, I was the oldest.
Now looking back on it, I knew I’d join a fraternity sometime next the end of my first year. My father–an Omega–talked to me about fraternities. I vividly recall him saying to me that given the racism at Michigan’s campus I needed to have a group of people that I could count on, a group of people that I could trust no matter what. I didn’t have to join Omega Psi Phi, he said, because Omega wasn’t for everybody. But I should consider joining one of them–Michigan also had chapters of Alpha Phi Alpha, Kappa Alpha Psi, and Phi Beta Sigma on campus.
(I say “vividly” in part because my father’s memory of this discussion was very very different. He explicitly remembers telling me that if I didn’t become a “Que”, I couldn’t come home. He remembers this as clearly as I remember what I am telling you. It is possible our stories are somehow both correct, but I’m pretty hardheaded, and if I heard my father tell me what he thought he told me I’d have joined another fraternity.)
My first year I had a chance to see friends of mine pledge two other fraternities (Kappa Alpha Psi, Alpha Phi Alpha). Each with histories going back almost 100 years (Michigan’s chapter of Alpha Phi Alpha just celebrated their 100 year anniversary last week) over time each had garnered its own niche among black men. Over the years I was there as an undergrad Kappa Alpha Psi garnered a reputation as entertainers and event promoters. Phi Beta Sigma during my first few years was known as giving the best step shows. Perhaps because they were the oldest chapter–no, the oldest black organization–on the yard I think that Alpha Phi Alpha probably was the organization that probably best represented the average middle to upper class black man on campus.
There were only two undergraduate Omegas on the yard at that time. They may have held a party during my first year, but I don’t recall it. I do remember thinking that they were aloof. I didn’t see them at any of the other fraternity parties I went to. And they didn’t speak much when I saw them around.
My first year on campus coincided with Spike Lee’s movie School Daze. Now School Daze was about the black college experience…but for me Lee nailed the black experience at Michigan. What I knew about pledging I knew from School Daze. I knew it was hard. I knew it was brutal. I knew it was physical. I didn’t think he got the politics of fraternities right necessarily, but I knew that pledging wasn’t a cakewalk.
But that was the point. I didn’t want something that would be easy. I wanted something that would be difficult. Something that would test me. Something that would take me outside of myself.
So I spent those first two semesters getting the lay of the land. A few of my friends pledged Alpha, one of my closest friends pledged Kappa. For several weeks they dressed the same (the Alphas “Sphinxmen” wore black jackets, black jeans, and black boots, the Kappas “Scrollers” wore blue jeans, blue coats, black sunglasses, and either blue or red berets). Whenever there was more than one of them they walked/ran/marched in single line formation. They didn’t speak to anyone outside of their Big Brothers. When they spoke to each other, they whispered, passing messages up and down the line. Every day at noon they would perform skits for the Big Brothers and for the rest of the campus. Although they had study hours, most of us thought they’d used their study time for sleep…they looked so gaunt and exhausted we figured they didn’t really have much time to sleep.
My close friend who’d become a Scroller? He looked a bit like JR Reid from the North Carolina Tarheels only shorter. About 6’5 or so. Maybe around 250 lbs. I’m guessing he lost about 50-75 lbs while pledging. Each group of pledges has to come up with a line name….a name that describes the group. My friend’s line name was originally “The Octagon” because there were eight of them. After two quit (“dropped line”) their line name became “Six the Hard Way”.
I’d started running with a group of other freshman. My first campus girlfriend used to jokingly call us “The Magnificent Five.” To that extent we’d already had a line name. Already had a bond. It was just about figuring out which group we’d join, together. The Sigmas were tossed out because they weren’t popular enough. The Omegas were tossed out because they were brash and brutal. The first time we saw the Omegas was at the end of the year stepshow. Gold military boots, freshly painted. Royal purple diapers. And nothing else. They looked like something out of a science fiction movie. They scared the shit out of everyone who saw them. They called themselves dogs. And I saw why. They looked and behaved as if they’d rip someone’s throat out in a fight rather than throw a punch. And vulgar as hell. If the Kappas were the Navy, and the Alphas the Army, the Omegas were the Marines. The shock troops. Michael Bowen–an Alpha with around ten more years in the game than I–said the Omegas were “sheer, blunt force trauma.”
Yes sir.
Seeing the Omegas at that moment probably sealed the deal me for my friends. We talked about it later that summer. The ques were wayyy too hard, too scary. The Sigmas didn’t have a high enough profile. The Kappas weren’t scary but one of the most challenging aspects of the pledge life is figuring out how to make a process as hard as possible without compromising academic excellence. From the outside looking in we didn’t think the Kappas on campus had that figured out, at least not in the late eighties. My friend for instance had to spend a few extra semesters in school because the semester he pledged his grades fell off the face of the earth. The Alphas were good men. They pledged hard enough. They had good character. They had a prestigious history.
It was all rational. Made a great deal of sense.
Later that summer my friends and I had a falling out. Pretty severe as far as those things go at least from my perspective. The details aren’t important here, but what I can say is that none of us were all that developed in the art of friendship.
This falling out pretty much removed the Alphas from my calculus.
So that summer I’d made the decision to pledge Omega. One of the first parties on campus made the difference between the Omegas and the other fraternities crystal clear. Another fraternity had a party, and had a step show. During the show they made fun of the others. In making fun of the Omegas–who had a party the following week–they noted that there were too few of them to joke about.
The two Omegas on the campus (plus one) were there. When they heard what the performers said about them, they walked into the center of the party, disrupted the show, and began handing out fliers advertising their party.
Of course a fight broke out.
There were literally two to three dozen members of the other fraternity, and only three Omegas. The Omegas didn’t run or leave each other. And the following, while important was not crucial. They didn’t lose.
That was the type of friendship the type of bond I wanted. The brashness I wanted. I wanted to be with a group of men who would literally go to the ends of the earth for one another, and were willing to disrupt anything and everything in the effort to be.
I was still scared shitless–I weighed barely 145 with clothes on–and didn’t think I had it in me. But it was at that moment I knew I’d made the right decision. The Ques continued to frighten, to intimidate. The first seven weeks of pledging I thought I would quit every single minute of every single day, in fear of what they would do that night, in fear of what they’d do the next day. But I moved through my fear, with my fear. And when i didn’t think I could go on, my line brothers picked me up, urging me not to give up, not to quit. I did the same for them.
I want to say we changed the campus irrevocably when we crossed. Of course that isn’t totally true. But what we provided in my time as an undergrad was a space for black men who wanted to be in a fraternity, but didn’t want to be Greek. Because our numbers were still low we were not really known for what WE did as Omegas. Rather we became known for what we did in the Black Student Union. What we did in the Office of Minority Affairs. What we did when students were maced by police on campus.
More than any single experience I have ever had, pledging Omega Psi Phi prepared me for life. Prepared me for those moments I didn’t think I’d finish my PhD. Prepared me for fatherhood, for how to raise, care for, and discipline children. And most importantly it prepared me for now–when it seems as if the bills don’t stop coming, the challenges of raising a family of seven in a Depression never cease, when every day a new hurdle appears, a new obstacle looms large.
Twenty years and one day later I wonder where I would be without the Ques. And I turn to the poem “Invictus” by Ernest Henley, a poem I learned while pledging. The second stanza:
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeoning of Chance
My head is bloodied but Unbowed
Twenty years and one day later, my head is bloodied.
I remain unbowed.
Deadly Sirius 4/18/89
- Samuel D. Kirkland
-
Lester K. Spence
-
Darius V. McKinney
-
Glenn B. Eden
DP Selvan Manthiram
ADP Lee Rudolph
Long live the Sons of Blood and Thunder. Long live Omega Psi Phi Fraternity.
“If you can bear to hear the words you spoken twisted by knaves to lure a trap for fools”
TAke care
tootsie
lambda 64
thanks for this. i needed it.
peace.
a.
You gave a pretty good description of what a lot of us experienced back in the day. Your words took me back to '81. Man what a rush
yesterday i moderated a panel at enoch pratt featuring two memoir writers–one of them (jennifer baszile author of The Black Girl Next Door) my age with a backstory very similar to mine/ours, the other one (e. ethelbert miller author of The Fifth Inning) around 20 years older, but with a story we could definitely identify with. until i heard them i didn't think my story was worth telling…at least not in the form of a memoir. writing this changed my mind.
Well, bruh that was well written. I could not said it better myself ,19 years for me 4/14/90 DDD Death Defying Duo Nu Sigma Chapter Sean Spencer & Mark Grier. I could go any where and find the bruhs and know that I will be taken care of. It is the best thing that I could of done in my life. See it through!
I love it.
Although I do not feel that the need for black sororities and fraternities has diminished (especially on predominantly white campus), I do feel that the type of experience you had has been condemned and seemingly eradicated by the “powers that be” as if they have forgotten the purpose and necessity of their own process.
I applaud you all who have “paved the way”. Especially during such a tumultuous time in our world – late 70s, early 80s = time of great change in our society.
Mine, albeit in the dawn of the millennium, was a process that I will not likely soon forget nor would I ever trade it for anything in the world. It, too, helped to shape me into the woman I am today and taught me how to draw strength from within myself to withstand some of the most difficult trials I've faced in my life already.
Thanks for sharing your story. You should publish a book of memoirs, by the way. I'd buy it and read it and share it with others.
Tina B.
DST
AQ – 7 – Fall '01
D.S. Destined-2-Be
Thanks for this Tina B!! Wish I could've seen you and Rob when I was in the STL.
Lester Kenyatta Spence -THIS IS WHY I AM AND ALWAYS HAVE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOUR MIND AND CHARACTER!!!! NO offense to Shawn….you know I love her too! 🙂 This brought back so many memories…as I read I was hurled back in time to 1988-89…with my own memories of watching you go through all of that from the outside after I did not make it my first year. I felt the same way about Delta even as I watched from the outside that first year…this is what I want…this is who I am destined to be…AHHH TO BE! We are currently in the process (21) I am looking for that same sense of determination/grit/go-ahead-anyhowness in 2009 pyraminds – personal.
A'LYNNE!! I'd probably have broken down in the process of writing if I took the time to give shout outs to the folks who helped me along the way. You'd be near the top of that list. Us being back in touch is one of the highlights of the last few years.
Les,
I can so see this. Man I never thought of you pledging Omega but you are and have always been a quiet storm. That said pledging prepared me for a lot. I mean A LOT. I think it made me harder after it was over because I really did not understand what was really going on. I don't know if that makes sense but maybe it might. However I always knew you had the highest GPA when on campus and you were your own men. Though sometimes I have had to walk my OWN path I could identify with you all being your own people and following who you felt you were. That said Deadly Sirius had a large impact on my life in spite of the fact that EVERY man in my family is an Alpha and I married a member of Kappa Alpha Psi. Much respect to all but Glenn cared for me like a sister in one of my most shadowed personal hours so I will always value my “friendship” with the brothers of Omega Psi Phi Phi Chapter. Enough said and congrats on your 20th. I still wish we would have been kidnapped so that we could have had some spaghetti and chicken. LOL.
thanks for this leslie. we've come a long way since that political science 101. i appreciate you and your friendship.
Good read.
John Davis
195
Bro Spence,
Your post brought a flood of memories and tears to my eyes. Your experience was very similar to mine in 1980. Although my father and older brother are Ques I had no real idea what pledging would be like since I didn't really know any of the Omegas in Omaha before getting on line. I knew I didn't want to join the Alphas or Kappas based on what I saw on campus but there was only one Omega on my yard (Creighton) and the rest were strangers at the U of Nebraska-Omaha. One of my best friends on campus had dropped line the semester before and would never tell me why or anything about his process. I did not know any of the guys who showed up for the Smoker and when I saw the handful who were invited to the Interview I was mentally preparing myself to pledge solo. Well, over the next weeks the five who made line and became Lamps grew to learn to work as a team and when we were reduced to the core four of us, we grew to love each other. Those were days and nights of turmoil and soul searching. As a quiet but VERY confident young man from the South Side of Chicago I didn't think some “hicks” from Omaha could teach me anything. Well, I learned they weren't all from Omaha or hicks and they taught me an awful lot!
I would not be half the man, father, leader or mentor that I am if it weren't for those months I spent earning my way into Omega and learning how to live for something other than myself.
Thanks for sparking some fond memories.
Fraternally,
Rick Williams
4-80-TK
wow bruh; this is very LOW & OWT!!!! I too feel the same way about the Ques in terms of where would I be without the Ques. The Ques (PHI & Non PHI bruhs) have impacted my life in soooo many ways that words alone cant describe the overall positive experience. LONG LIVE OMEGA PSI PHI FRATERNITY INC & THE NOTORIOUS MIGHTY PHI CHAPTER. 6-PHI-94
Roooo to you and your line Brothers-The stories of OMEGA are always close!
GOD Bless you and your family.
The experience is obviously important to you. The letter is lengthy and eloquent.
“More than any single experience I have ever had, pledging Omega Psi Phi prepared me for life. Prepared me for those moments I didn’t think I’d finish my PhD. Prepared me for fatherhood, for how to raise, care for, and discipline children. And most importantly it prepared me for now–when it seems as if the bills don’t stop coming, the challenges of raising a family of seven in a Depression never cease, when every day a new hurdle appears, a new obstacle looms large.”
This sounds nice, but I kept help but think this would it be better if these qualities of discipline, insight and self-possession were developed without the images of the alcohol and violence that attends being “hard,” if they developed in high school sports, drama, or playing a musical instrument. This letter could have been written by a soldier talking about the military or a cop talking about the police academy, and that's not exactly a compliment.
Thanks for the critical response, as always.
I've read the post again. While it was a violent exercise, I don't see explicit or implicit references to alcohol. Perhaps because I'm talking about a fraternity?
This letter could have been written by a cop, could have been written by a marine. I don't see this as a compliment either…it is what it is.
But here's the thing that I didn't mention explicitly. A fraternity is designed at best to forge an unbreakable bond between a group of strangers. Unbreakable. Replicating this experience literally hundreds of times…and then comparing it to some other experience (drama perhaps), I cannot think of any other experience that would garner the results that pledging did. Discipline I could have learned elsewhere. Insight I HAVE learned elsewhere. But the values of group cooperation, initiative, and loyalty, only come–in my experience–from one or two ways.
Violence and alcohol were never mentioned, but what else could “hard” mean?
I like the idea of an bond between a group of strangers. I think it's terribly important to our understanding of civic responsibility that we have the ability to make bonds with strangers.
I have to think some more about this.
Preach Brother,
There is no other way to forge the bond between Omega Men. The hardships we experience forces a relationship between men when we have no other option but to look out for the man beside you.
Cash -2 -Beta Gamma -sp 12
Ack typos.
The experience is obviously important to you. The letter is lengthy and eloquent.
“More than any single experience I have ever had, pledging Omega Psi Phi prepared me for life. Prepared me for those moments I didn’t think I’d finish my PhD. Prepared me for fatherhood, for how to raise, care for, and discipline children. And most importantly it prepared me for now–when it seems as if the bills don’t stop coming, the challenges of raising a family of seven in a Depression never cease, when every day a new hurdle appears, a new obstacle looms large.”
This sounds nice, but I can't help but think this would it be better if these qualities of discipline, insight and self-possession were developed in healthier arenas, without the images of the alcohol and violence that attends being “hard,” and if it sounded less like you were being jumped into a gang as you speak thoughtfully about the virtues of choosing between whether to join the Bloods or the Crips. The world would be a better place, I think, If these qualities were developed in high school sports, drama, playing a musical instrument, and ideally, through the curriculum.
As it stands, this letter could have been written by a soldier talking about the military or a cop talking about the police academy, and that's not exactly a compliment. It's great that these qualities were developed, but joining a Fraternity seems to me to be the a profoundly unhealthy way to find one's dignity, self-respect and sense of responsibility.
I'm glad the Black frat experience has worked for you.
I cannot say that I have much affinity for Black sororities or fraternities. They work for some, but, for me, it was too much re: being judged on the basis of one's socio-economic status, hair texture and skin tone. A friend, who is White, asked me, “Do you really want to be a part of a group who judges people so superfically? Ironic, isn't it, but so true.
Black fraternities and sororities have all types of problems. But in the time I spent at Michigan in the late eighties-early nineties I can say that picking people based on their hair texture/class background was not one of them. Locating the first major wave of black nationalism 20 years earlier, I'd say that pledging in the SECOND wave of black nationalism pretty much squashed that. Members of my fraternity didn't even call ourselves “greek.”
Roo to the Ques!
Dog,
This story is what the Frat is all about and honestly if you not have not experienced true brotherhood then one will never understand. As a neo it warms my heart to know I truley have faced what other men have met.
Long Live the QUES!!
Shell ShoQ
2-09-B?
I read this story on Goldboot and it is definitely befitting to process. I find it quite interesting and true. Happy 21 years in the greatest fraternity in the world, now my wish is that we as younger brothers uphold the tenants as real mean do thoroughly immersed not just in speech but in deeds.
W. Cobbs
2-Spring-02
Mighty Sigma Eta-12th D
Happy Omegaversary!! Thanks for the reasons why men pledge Omega Psi Phi!! ooo ooop love the Bruhz!
Lady D.I.V.A.
Spr ’07
DSTidalwave #12
What a great read my brother. In Fall of 87… in the great city of New Orleans Louisiana, on Southern University at New Orleans campus…Alpha Lambda/The Mighty Lumber Yard Chapter, I made that same successful voyage to Omega for no other reason(s)…except BROTHERHOOD.
I’m happy with my life time fraternal decision!
(Three Symbols, Two Colors, One frat)
Omega Love Porsch944
Brother,
I concur with your assesment of friendship and pledging the greatest fratenity in the global world. This is a letter that need to be publish in the next Oracle and be a blueprint for our undergraduates and for those brother who pledge grade chapter and who wants to relive an undergraduate experience. 8 vs 80.
Joel Bratton aka smoke
SP. 86 Theta Psi the real Kappa chapter
Great story Que!
Im from the same area as you also. I was born and raised in Flint, MI.
Qrayzie B.O.N.E.
10- “Mighty” Rho Psi- 2011
Tennessee State University
Roo!